Decision Makers

So my whole life up until I got married at age 27, I have been a very independent person. I still am. When I got married, I really had to struggle with the fact that I had to share all of my things and my time. Being single and living alone for many years really spoiled me and I think made me a little selfish. I was able to go and do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I didn't have to check in with anyone and didn't have to take into consideration what anyone else wanted to do for the most part. When Michael and I got married, he had been living with his aunt and I lived alone. So he moved into my apartment.... with MY things. It took me a really long time to realize that "what was mine was his, and what was his was mine." It was a little better when we moved into our first home that was new to both of us. I think I am still getting used to it.

Now with the babies, it is a whole new ballgame. I absolutely LOVE being a mommy and I love Ava and Aiden with all my being, but they are definitely the decision makers around here now. It is very hard to do anything for myself or make plans to do anything outside of our house. They decide. If it is a fussy day... we stay home. If they decide not to take a nap together... I don't get to "get some sun."

That is what happened today. I had all intentions of working on that tan that I get every summer. The babies love the pool, but to be out in the heat of the day relaxing in the sun is not something I can do with the babies out there with me. I would get one to sleep and the other would be awake... then the other would fall asleep and the other would wake up. When do I get to make the decisions again?? Maybe another 18 years... LOL.